COLUMN: The best of 2022

Trent+Jonas+is+a+graduate+student+studying+English+and+can+be+reached+at+217-581-2812.

Trent Jonas

Trent Jonas is a graduate student studying English and can be reached at 217-581-2812.

Trent Jonas, Columnist

Coming off 2020—and whatever year followed that one—I admit I had pretty high hopes for 2022. Unfortunately, it didn’t go quite the way I would have wanted. But there were still some highlights.

I finally graduated! But not from EIU. There was a little snafu with my previous program, so I wasn’t able to complete my thesis until this semester.

But now it’s done, and I don’t have to worry about it anymore.

Speaking of EIU, the student senate finally scrounged up a quorum. That’s something.

And, apparently, EIU is making a show of pretending to care about accessibility on campus, so we’ve got that going for us, right?

Dunkin’.

Hey! My kid finished his first major film (he’s a film major) project and is premiering it this month before launching it out onto the festival circuit. I’m definitely a proud papa.

While we’re on the topic, my other kid moved to Denver, where she’s happy. And if she’s happy, I’m happy.

“Severance.” Messed up but good. I hope it comes back soon.

If you wanna talk messed up: Back in March, I received diagnoses for two different kinds of cancer—from different doctors and separate biopsies—on the same day.

After having suffered many indignities and a surgery-dampened summer (followed by further indignities) things have improved.

It was pretty scary, and I’m very thankful for the direction in which things seem to be heading.

I was even able to milk it for a couple poems and a longer prose bit. Making lemonade, right?

Oh! Baby owls! I saw my first ever owlets back in the spring—a trio of great horned owl babies and a couple of goofy barred owl pups.

They looked like fuzzy, little beaked kittens.

Sadly the whole great horned owl family, including mom and dad, got hit with the avian influenza and didn’t make; but so far, so good with the barred owlets.

Lizzo.

My ex-wife’s dog, Bodhi—a morkie, about whom I was very dubious when he first came on the scene—is a consistent day brightener, and he did a bunch of cute stuff (as always) this year.

That thing with quantum entanglement that won the Nobel prize in physics back in October—about how nothing’s locally real—was a mindf**k of prodigious proportions that I’m still trying to wrap my tiny brain around. But nevertheless, pretty cool.

And you know what else was a bright spot in 2022? You.

That’s right—if you’re reading this, I’m talking about you.

Not everyone is lucky enough to get 500 words of drivel on whatever topic (or non-topic) they want to write about published every week—and have someone other than their 46 MySpace friends read it.

So, in spite of my sarcastic nature and apparent lack of touch with reality, I want you to know that I know you’re out there. I see you. I hear you (and I actually have heard from some of you). And I appreciate you.

Thank you.

Here’s to an improved (and, hopefully, really interesting) 2023—cheers!

Trent Jonas is an English graduate student. He can be reached at [email protected] or 217-581-2812.