Mondays, Mondays, Mondays.

I mean, even when you have a holiday it completely goes over your head. You feel as though you have enough time to lounge about watching Netflix and putting off every seemingly insignificant assignment, but before you know it, that Tuesday comes around rearing its ugly head just around the corner.

Nevertheless, I enjoy Tuesdays better. The spelling of the word alone looks friendly and inviting. Don’t ask me why.

Perhaps it’s a subconscious tendency—when I think about a Tuesday, I believe it is a second shot for us all to compensate for the lack of productivity or screw-ups that happened the first day of the week.

The first real school day of the week is your first shot when all else crumbles to bitty to pieces. Tuesday is another wondrous opportunity to redeem your sleep-deprived, aching self.

Honestly, what is it about Mondays (or that dreaded second day of the week after a holiday) that transforms us into these mindless marching monsters, swarming about campus?

It is as though every single thing that could possibly go wrong actually does end up turning into an irreversible fiasco.

You get the disgruntled body shifting, the not-so-subtle eye rolling and unexpected stacks of assignments. Professors are at their worst (or maybe at their best in their twisted sense of awareness). 

We are graciously greeted with the no-nonsense, let’s-get-down-to-business professors.

If you just so happen to not have that textbook sitting in your backpack with you or that assigned reading completed, do yourself a favor and quietly excuse yourself from class. You will be lost and deliberately left behind.

Do not retreat to the dark spaces of your home to sleep the evening away and marinade in your shame—wisely use your time to catch up, and do not waste your time or the professor’s or your classmates’. Be fair.

Another terrifying aspect to face on Mondays: a case of The Grumps.

Most of you would not believe how many times in just one miserable Monday I have had to reluctantly bite my tongue to refrain from telling someone to tone down his or her irritability level.

Listen, on about a scale from 1-10 you are at a 10, and I am going to need the ‘tude to be reduced to about a 4.

I refuse to get into any serious trouble, so I studiously keep quiet and endure the annoyed glances.

Hopefully, everyone else can erase their jarred memories from their maddening Monday and start anew on a fresh Tuesday.

Marge Clemente is a senior English major. She can be reached at 581-2812 or denopinions@gmail.com.