When I was 12 years old, I tried playing Frisbee on a hill at Kiwanis Park and ended up shattering a growth plate in my ankle.

My freshman year of high school, I figured it would be really cool to shave my head the day before our soccer team was photographed for the yearbook.

I stuck out as third from the left because I was the only person who resembled an Albino-flavored lollipop.

When I was 20, I forever cemented my position as a life-long loser by having the logo of my beloved Chicago Cubs tattooed over my heart.

I can smell a bad idea coming from a mile away.

So imagine the stink my olfactory glands took in a few weeks ago when I was informed that a “gentlemen’s club” had opened in Neoga.

For those of you who have never been to Las Vegas or attended a low-budget bachelor party, a “gentlemen’s club” is the politically correct way of labeling a strip joint.

What an appropriate name, too. I can think of nothing more gentlemanly than drunkenly sticking wrinkled $1 bills down a local woman’s G-string. And they say chivalry is dead!

Opening a “gentlemen’s club” in Neoga is the worst idea I’ve heard of since, well, they opened a strip club in Neoga!

Let us count down the ways this could go horribly, horribly wrong for all parties involved.

Perhaps the most obvious aspect is that this “gentlemen’s club” is breaking the cardinal rule of real estate: Location, location and location.

Neoga is located 23 miles from Charleston. I think few will argue that the prospect of scantily clad or nude women will most certainly draw the attention of college males.

However, with the potential of people going to a “gentlemen’s club,” drinking possibly excessive amounts of alcohol just to drive 23 miles back to Charleston, you’ve got a recipe for DUI citations galore and a very dangerous situation.

Of course, in an ideal world, people would always have a designated driver. But, as reported in the Feb. 4 edition of The Daily Eastern News, the UPD issued nine citations for driving under the influence in January alone. And that was just in Charleston.

Also, in a delightful bit of irony, this den of ill repute is located in a building that was once a school.

While parents of Eastern students may love to hear their children are spending lots of time in and around school buildings, I doubt a schoolhouse-turned-strip club is where they would like them to do their studying.

And let’s be honest, this isn’t the Scores Club in Las Vegas. It is a small building in a rural town with a population of fewer than 3,300 people. I can only assume it is not the most high-class, top-notch facility young “gentlemen” would like to envision it as.

Ultimately, having a “gentlemen’s club” in our area leaves me with the same feeling I got when I visited Montréal, Quebec: Fun idea for a few minutes and then your stomach starts to turn.

And in the age of Facebook and Twitter, how long will it take before someone finds a photo of themselves in said club?

Perhaps what happens in Neoga doesn’t stay in Neoga.

Quite seriously, as someone who has grown up in Charleston, this isn’t the type of thing I like to see in or around my community and it is just asking for trouble in too many ways.

David Thill is a senior journalism major. He can be reached at

[email protected] or at 581-7942.