God forbid Eastern actually ends this magical season on a loss, but even the coaching staff will admit under their breath that it could go either way.

At that point, the Panthers will have to bring its lucky coin to the party in order to secure the Ohio Valley Conference title and the automatic playoff berth.

That’s right, the conference big wigs in Tennessee have in its rules that if there is a three-way tie between Eastern Illinois, Jacksonville State and Eastern Kentucky, a coin toss will settle the matter.

I give the OVC officials credit for one thing. I didn’t think it was possible to hear a more idiotic football rule than the infamous Tom Brady’s tuck rule game. Congrats.

This is easily the worst way of deciding a championship with a close second being penalty kicks in soccer (but that’s European football so who cares).

There are many ways to decide a championship that don’t involve a game of chance. For the time being, I’ll nominate myself the OVC pseudo-commissioner.

Conference Point Deferential: Here’s a crazy idea – since every team has played everybody, let’s add up all the points scored versus points allowed and find the best team. The fear with this is a coach could become the next Steve Spurrier and run up the score of OVC games by beating teams 70-0. So what?

If a team is a part of a league and simply is unable to stop somebody from running up and down the field, who’s fault is that? Note to OVC officials: If this were used, Eastern would make the playoffs.

Highest ranked team: Simply put, coaches know football and logically that would make them the best to judge who should go to the playoffs. By golly, we have a poll for that, let’s use it for more than space in a newspaper. For the record, Eastern would win this one too.

Silent Conference Vote: There are five coaches that are not involved in the championship title run. Send out a silent poll to the five coaches. Ten points for first place, five for second and one for third. Problem solved. Bob Spoo is similar to your favorite grandfather that gives out candy. Who wouldn’t vote for that? Eastern wins.

Most Top 3 Eddie Robinson Award finishes: Speaking of Mr. Oops Bob, he has finished second for the I-AA national coaching award. Neither one of the other two have at all. Eastern goes to the playoffs.

Least Offensive Nickname: Gamecocks, enough said. Colonels technically could have had some form of slaves before the Civil War so EKU is out. Thanks to Prowler, Eastern goes to the playoffs.

Live Auction; We call it a playoff bid, right? So, make them literally bid for it. Who doesn’t think director of athletics Rich McDuffie wouldn’t mortgage the value of the university to please Eastern faithful? Not me, largest bid would also get a home game in the first round and Eastern wins.

Nicest Looking Uniforms: I have personally polled the female members of the Daily Eastern News night staff and, in an upset, Eastern Kentucky wins this award, go figure.

Most Extra Points Held in a 2005 NFL game: Who knew Tony Romo would lead us to the playoffs again? Thanks to the Dallas Cowboys backup, EIU wins again.

Hot Dog Eating Contest: Take the five offensive lineman, and well, you know the rest. Using only weight to judge, EKU is the favorite but the Panthers could suddenly spend a scholarship on Kobayashi to earn the playoff berth.

Rock, Paper, Scissors: Note to McDuffie, you have an assistant coach named Roc, how could it fail? Eastern wins.

Okay, maybe these are ridiculous, but how much more crazy are these than a coin toss. As Socrates once said, “The only true wisdom is in knowing you know nothing.” There’s no doubt about it, the OVC is truly run by wise people.