Column: Clearing the haze of a confusing custom

Somewhere along the line, someone told me it’s important to take pride in the process.

And the saying, it turns out, taught me that the end result can only be achieved if the hard work necessary beforehand is completed.

But, watching the cable news channels this week, I learned something about “the process.” Sometimes, it can be pretty unnecessary.

The crowds gathered at Vatican City and waited for a literal smoke signal announcing that a new pope had been selected.

Now the process of selecting a pope seems to make enough sense, not withstanding the confusing vote-margin rules that I believe end with the cardinals breaking all ties with a three-legged race.

My issues with the process are simply squared upon the burning of the ballots, which leads to the papal smoke.

Watching the coverage of the selection on cable news, each of the major networks devoted significant time discussing whether or not a new pope was selected.

A seemingly cut-and-dry distinction between white smoke, meaning no selection has been made, and black smoke, meaning a new pope has been chosen, became muddled when the smoke released wasn’t quite white and not quite black.

Yes, the cable news media spent time discussing which color the smoke was.

Sometime before I learned to take pride in the process, I was taught about life-altering things like numbers, shapes and colors. And, I have retained the knowledge that black is the opposite of white.

Considering the cardinals’ smoke problem, I forced myself to say, “Ok, there has to be a better way.”

Instead of confusing the talking heads, why not strip the notification process down. To notify people of a choice, why not raise a flag, release some doves or ring some bells?

Even my high school has an electronic signboard giving information about the next Hersey home football game. Why can’t the Vatican adapt and go digital?

Now, I know what some people are thinking: this process has been intact for thousands of years and steeped in tradition.

And while that statement is 100 percent accurate, it fails to account for the ability to improve.

One of people’s best attributes is the ability to evolve and change with the world around them (some whacko named Charles Darwin says all creatures possess the ability to evolve, but I don’t see any squirrels taking in the new, evolved luxuries like air conditioning, Kit Kat’s or 24-hour cable news channels.)

But processes have been improved throughout history.

Instead of walking to a river, I drink water out of a faucet, and when in Charleston, I don’t drink out of a faucet but only from bottles.

Instead of going through all the trouble of loading up a horse and carriage, people can put a key in the ignition and start a car.

People used to duck around backrooms in seedy places to get their hands on pornography until Al Gore invented the Internet. (That’s why he got my vote.)

It’s time Vatican City embraces evolution (not that kind – that’s too much to ask) and realizes their process needs some updating. If not for the crowds gathered, the process should be simplified for the cable news people.

And, to start the process of change, there has to be a realization that the process of selecting an infallible man is lacking divine perfection.