Ball Four: What to do without football

Now that the Super Bowl is over, here are a few things to do with your time until next year’s football season.

1. College basketball – March Madness:

Oh, yes, sports fans. It’s less than a month away. Tonight could be a little preview of a couple of final four teams as Duke and North Carolina play at 8. It’s one of the only things worthwhile between football seasons.

2. Arena football:

You’ve gotta love the Chicago Rush, or your team of choice. I just like the Rush because they play close to my hometown. They should be called the Rosemont Rush because they play in Rosemont, and alliteration is really cool.

3. The Daytona 500:

What’s better than watching 50 cars go around the same circle 500 times? Look at it this way: something could possibly blow up.

4. Darts:

Have you ever seen darts on television? People bring signs to these things cheering on their favorite dart guy. What do you call a dart contest? Is it a game? What do you call a guy who throws darts? Is he a darter?

5. Bowling:

What’s that guy’s name that goes nuts like he’s some kind of wrestler after he gets a strike? Whatever it is, he’s fun to watch.

6. Wrestling:

This is just flat out funny; I don’t care who you are. The Nature Boy Rick Flair was wrestling Shawn Michaels on Monday Night Raw. Are you kidding me? I haven’t seen that much wrinkled white meat since Thanksgiving dinner. These guys have to be, collectively, pushing 100.

7. Golf:

Call me crazy but I actually enjoy watching golf. But I could see how someone could find the game incredibly boring to watch. But it’s always fun to play, especially with a six-pack of beer very close at hand.

8. Madden 2005 franchise:

If you don’t have Madden 2005, any version of the EA Sports classic will suffice. I once carried my franchise for over 20 seasons, and Ben Coates was still on the free agent list at the end of my last year.

9. Physical activity:

I guess you could get up off your rump and go for a jog. But not right now because it’s cold outside. When it gets warm out you don’t even have to jog. You could just go for a walk and look at all the beautiful spring flowers.

10. Major league baseball

I highly recommend it. But it’s no football. I sometimes flip between a game of Madden and the Cubs game. It’s the best of both worlds.

If you don’t like the list I have provided for you you’re probably one of those weirdoes who watches Bravo or MTV or the Discovery Channel instead of ESPN in which case you should flip this paper over to the front side because you’re reading the sports section silly!