I didn’t have any classes but I learned some valuable lessons over summer vacation.

I learned that life may not be perfect, but it isn’t out of our control.

Before last spring, I was unsatisfied and disappointed with where my life outside of school and work was going.

I wanted to find my happiness again and finally instead of looking all around me, I decided to look inside myself.

I learned that people truly are creatures of habit. When we let something become part of our routine is when we become comfortable and often put ourselves in the position to get hurt.

People change and friendships change and just because it’s time to let someone go doesn’t mean you care any less. It doesn’t mean you won’t still be there for each other if the other person should need you.

It just means you won’t have to wonder when things will be the same again, or exhaust yourself working to repair something that isn’t broken- just different.

I spent the past couple years searching to resolve a relationship with someone close to me who had distanced. I was sad and frustrated. But this summer I realized we just weren’t the same people we used to be. I still remember the good times. But they are memories.

I finally saw the toll it was taking on both of us – that it had become a cycle of ups and downs instead of us always lifting each other up. Disappointments were leading to frustration and anger and I desperately wanted to prevent the anger from overshadowing the good times.

Sometimes, it’s when you let go of something routine and initiate a change that you can truly find happiness.

My best friend left the country to work as an au pair in Amsterdam for the summer. After waiting an entire school year to have my summer with her, I was a little disappointed when she left home just a couple weeks after we all got there.

It took a lot of getting used to, being home for the summer and not being able to wake up and walk from her house to Kankakee’s esteemed Blue’s Cafe for french toast.

When I was nervous or upset, she wasn’t at my door 10 minutes after my phone call with a carton of Ben & Jerry’s, two spoons and walking shoes so we could talk on our way to the park and walk the trail for however long it took to gain confidence or be laughing again.

With the seven hour time difference, I couldn’t call her when I was running late for a date but couldn’t decide between smoky eye make up and natural shades.

But, with e-mail, a lot of long letters and a trusty international phone card, our friendship grew even stronger. We worked harder to be there for each other, in ways we never had to before, and it showed. And looking inside myself, I also made the changes I needed to make for me.

I allowed myself to open up to people and stopped being so reserved.

I channeled all my affection to the things that really mattered to me.

I stopped being overly cautious and opened my heart to someone. And rather than worrying about the vulnerability involved in sharing my feelings, I said what I was feeling.

The impression I might make didn’t affect my behavior toward or around him. I’ve found the most security and yet had the most fun I’ve had in a relationship.

And because I was myself, I found something I know is real.

They say when one door closes, another opens. Sometimes you just have to do the closing and opening yourself.