As left-handed Canadian Mike Weir sank the final putt on the first playoff hole to win the 2003 Masters, one thought came to mind – it’s all my mom’s fault. Let me explain.

I was born a southpaw. When I was learning to write clearly (I still have trouble with that task), I instinctively put the pencil in my left hand. The woman who brought me into the world found this act unacceptable and was determined to change it. To this day, my mother still believes there is a prejudice against left-handed people (don’t ask me why; she doesn’t even know). However, to solve the problem of having the only lefty in the family, she made her only child sit on his left hand and therefore, leaving no other option.

However, I figure my parents now owe me $1 million and a green jacket from Augusta National seeing as how that’s what Weir will be taking back north. I currently hold only a five handicap in golf and will never win a major championship. So, for everyone that’s scoring at home, that’s Mike Weir – 1, Matt Stevens – 0. You do the math.

Apparently, as a child Weir wrote golf legend Jack Nicklaus asking him whether or not he should switch and play the sports right-handed instead of his natural left-handed. The way I see it, if I would’ve picked the Golden Bear’s brain for knowledge instead of my mother, I would be well on my way to succeeding that Woods character as golf’s icon.

What’s interesting about my argument is my mom sold it to me on the legitimacy that courses aren’t set up for left-handed players. At this point, I assume that the foot is at least halfway into the mouth. Except for that 0-43 mark in majors, Phil Mickelson seems to be an above average financial provider for his family. PGA professional Steve Flesch has currently toted him with over $200,000 (a decent living). Therefore, either the world shifted off its axes or that argument is a myth.

Argument number two; golf clubs are more expensive for left-handed golfers. This is somewhat true, but I would be willing to pony up the dough to on the yellow brick road to stardom.

The final argument that could possibly save my mother from the pending lawsuit could be that I’m simply not talented enough to make the transition. My answer to that argument is I don’t know and it’s too late to try now. How would I know what type of left-handed golfer I could’ve been and I’m certainly not going to the try now. For example, one doesn’t see Sammy Sosa stepping into the batter’s box as a lefty.

In the end, I’m willing to forgive my mother for ruining any chance of her on becoming a PGA Tour professional because hopefully, I’ll get by. I just hope she can deal with the guilt of depriving herself from the mansion purchased by she southpaw son.