It’s coming for you. It’s inevitable. And it’ll be the happiest day of your life.

That’s right. It’s your wedding day and it will happen. What’s that, you say? You haven’t been planning out every detail from songs to flowers since childhood? And you’re female? Welcome to life as a freak.

In bygone days, a woman basically had to marry or join the convent. Women couldn’t work to support themselves. That marriage made them the property of their husbands.

Even centuries after coveture laws phased out and decades after women joined the workforce, some parents still fretted over daughters they couldn’t seem to “marry off.”

Spinster anxiety seems to trickle down to the daughters themselves when I meet women my age who worry they will never marry. The pressure is still on America’s women to find a partner and stay with him forever, sometimes sacrificing self, career or freedom in the process.

Even those who don’t have the worry seem to expect one day it will be their fate. Ever stop to consider the term “premarital sex?” How does one know if a sex act is premarital if one’s wedding is not occurring in the next five seconds? I don’t like to think of anyone as premarital. It suggests that it is everyone’s lot in life to unite with another in the name of the Lord God and the state of Illinois, whether they want to or not.

No woman has to get married anymore unless she wants to. She can do whatever floats her boat, from starting her own business to living in a tree and eating bark. She can take a traditional job like teaching or nursing or go another route like construction or physics. She can apply make-up, shave her legs and highlight her hair, or she can sport a zero-gauge tongue ring, shave her head and wear boxer-briefs. All of this and more she can do as well single as she can married.

It saddens me to think some women believe they’re missing out on life by not getting married. Maybe married women are missing out. Think about the joy of being single: more time with your friends, more time with yourself, no one to worry about but you. Sure that’s a little selfish, but if that’s what makes you happy, why not go for it? If you love yourself, you can marry yourself. And every woman should love herself.

I understand those who see marriage as a natural step toward having a family. Even I get maternal urges, and I can see why someone would want a partner to help her raise kids. But it’s unfortunate some women don’t have the economic ability to do it alone. That’s the fault of an economic system that doesn’t value parenting.

Get married or don’t get married — just don’t let anyone else decide for you.