When life starts turning to crap, sometimes we have but one place to turn: Techno.

Be it dance, trance, house, electronica or just a club mix of an otherwise boring song, techno has the power to heal all wounds and make a mundane life interesting, or at least bearable.

Into every life, a little wasted time must fall. This is when I need techno most. During the four-hour solo drive that stretches between Charleston and my parents’ house, techno is the lone protector of my

sanity.

I’ve even figured out how to dance in the car. On the way back to Eastern this past weekend, I busted my moves not once, but twice to “Starry-Eyed Surprise” by (Paul) Oakenfold featuring Shifty Shellshocker.

The experience wasn’t perfect. If I danced too much with my feet, I would accidentally start doing 90 miles per hour, which my Geo did not appreciate. My club grooves aren’t so fly when I’m barrelling down I-74 and I’m the only one who hears the music, but someone who spent most of the ride up shamelessly wolfing down fried chicken can’t worry about such things.

So even though I endangered my life and looked ridiculous, the ride was a blast. Despite my car’s outward lack of flashiness, the interior is decked out for many an interstate dance party. A rainbow disco ball hangs from the rear view mirror and my steering wheel cover, black fuzz and gold glitter dollar signs, is as party as it gets.

Dancing my cares away in the car keeps me awake and passes the time, a major function of techno when used outside the club. This helps in another boring situation: The shower.

Yes, instead of singing in the shower, I dance. Once again, I’m risking injury, something illustrated to me one time when I danced too far to the curtain side and almost fell out on the floor. But dancing to techno in the shower makes you feel like you’re part of a really sexy music video. It’s also a great way to wake up, a fact I’m sure my roommates and the guys next door will attest to.

Lately, “Dance Party (Like it’s 2002)” has been on heavy rotation in my bathroom radio. The best shower song is “Forever” by Dee Dee, which is also on the latest addition to The Daily Eastern News techno library: “Trance Party Volume Two,” which I listened to as I wrote this column.

Techno has become a major fixture of the news desk since the current staff took over last spring. The collection now includes the aforementioned CDs, plus Trance Party Volume One, Trance Stimuli, Global Hits 2002 and Chill Out in Ibiza. Fragma, Moby, Hooverphonic, the Vengaboys and Basement Jaxx also regale reporters and editors, prompting the nickname “dance party newsroom.”

Every night, associate news editor Amber Williams and I have to edit every news story, a demanding task that requires thumping bass and digitally-remastered vocals. The beats keep our brains in our skulls while plowing through the next day’s news.

At first, the staff was resistent to the techno beats, sweet as they were, pumping from the news desks. But now I catch them dancing a little, head-bopping a little and I know they’re on their way to being as addicted as I am.