Every October, Eastern recognizes Domestic Violence Awareness Month to take into consideration the issues concerning domestic violence that trouble people every day.

Jeannie Ludlow, the Coordinator of Women’s Studies, said domestic violence is a largely under reported crime.

“The FBI estimates that relationship violence happens in about one-third of homes where couples live together,” she said. “When we’re in college, oftentimes we don’t know where to go to get help or what is available to us.”

Ludlow said many people describe feeling “stuck” in a relationship, but there are avenues to take even when a victim cannot leave a relationship.

“The very most important thing a woman can do is stay as safe as possible,” she said. “Sometimes that means staying in a relationship, but a lot of people don’t understand that.”

The most common situation of domestic violence includes a heterosexual couple where the female is the victim, Ludlow said.

“The FBI says that a woman that leaves a violent relationship is seven times more likely to be killed by her partner than if she stays in the relationship,” she said.

That does not take into account children that may be involved in the relationship or possible other family members, she said.

“It’s really important to know that the answer is never a simple ‘get up and go,’” she said.

Victims should never take on the blame because the blame is on the perpetrator, Ludlow said.

“It’s easier said than done,” she said. “When a person is ready to try and seek help and official kinds of support, there are all kinds of avenues for that.”

Ludlow detailed places like HOPE, which stands for Housing, Outreach, Prevention and Education, that offer help to victims of domestic violence.

Angie Hunt, the housing program director at HOPE, said the facility can help victims in Coles County as well as the six surrounding counties.

“We provide a 24-hour crisis line, emergency shelter, transitional housing, a children’s program, legal advocacy, community education and a volunteer program,” she said. “We’re a comprehensive agency, so we have all the services that we can.”

Hunt said she wants college students to know that HOPE is there for students and is completely free and confidential.

“Young people should know that this does happen quite often,” she said. “I think people are shocked by this because they don’t always know what the exact definition of domestic violence is.”

Hunt said people tend to think of cuts, bruises, black eyes and even rape and murder as domestic violence, but it includes so much more.

“The most common form of domestic violence is emotional abuse,” she said. “We all grow up with the ‘sticks and stones’ mentality, but that’s completely not true because words can hurt just as bad or worse.”

Hunt said domestic violence could include emotional, verbal, physical, sexual, financial and social abuse.

“We have to create a coordinated community response to make it safe for victims to leave abusive relationships,” she said. “An average of three to four women per day are murdered in what is known as a domestic homicide, which is very scary.”

If there is sexual violence involved in a case, Ludlow suggested victims seek out SACIS, which is Eastern’s Sexual Assault Counseling and Information Service.

Erin Walters, the director of SACIS, works closely with HOPE on many domestic violence-related issues.

“This month is about realizing and awareness of victims that live within our area,” she said. “People assume this is something that happens behind closed doors in families with children in isolated areas, but it occurs in new relationships too, and even in middle schools.”

If a situation falls under the rubric of criminality, Ludlow said going to the police can be a good resource, as well as seeking out the help of family and friends.

For those staying in a violent relationship out of what they consider to be safety, Ludlow recommends a safety plan.

“A safety plan involves packing a suitcase with some clothes and a little bit of money to have in case they need to suddenly leave in the middle of the night,” she said. “Being as safe as possible in the home is so important.”

Though domestic violence is largely stereotyped as a man beating up a woman, all types of it occur every day, Ludlow said.

“We see violence on the part of both partners, and that goes for same sex and heterosexual relationships,” she said. “It can happen in relationships that are very new and relationships that have been going on for many years.”

Ludlow said it takes a victim an average of seven times of being abused to finally leave.

“It takes a lot of patience and love to support somebody who is going through that,” she said.

Prevention can be difficult and can often be different from situation to situation.

“The person who should prevent relationship violence is the person who hit someone else,” she said. “We need to work together as a society to create an atmosphere where gender roles are less strict and this kind of violence doesn’t occur.”

Robyn Dexter can be reached at 581-2812 or [email protected].