Rock, paper, scissors…. fun!
It’s settled bets, decided controversial grudges and now, it is involved in a tournament for a trip to Las Vegas and a $50,000 cash prize.
For two hours, Marty’s patrons were focused on four words.
RO-SHAM-BO – SHOOT.
No, it’s not a new Taiwanese drink invention. It is the official rallying cry of rock, paper scissors.
“We didn’t know that it’d be that popular,” said director of competition and Anheiser Busch representative Brad Talbert. “Nobody really knew how people would react.”
The winner of what turned out to be a 48-person single elimination tournament Thursday decided who moves on to the regional final at Brian’s Place in Mattoon. The winner of that competition will not only receive the unofficial honor of the being the Coles County rock, paper, scissors champion but will also be flown to Las Vegas to compete in the United States Championship for the cash prize.
“Can you imagine getting $50,000 for rock, paper, scissors?” Talbert said. “That’s crazy if you’d ask anybody.”
Five minutes before the start of the event, the room was alive with adrenaline, smoke, alcohol and the hopes of being a champion. Many side bets were being placed on who would get further. Informal practices were taking place in corners, and the anticipation grew as the brackets were announced.
Strategy in this event was key as players began to focus on how they would, in the words of the former basketball coach Jim Valvino, “survive and advance.”
According to “The Official Rock Paper Scissors Strategy Guide” (otherwise known as “Rock Paper Scissors for Dummies”) by Douglas and Graham Walker, a player has a 33.3-percent chance of making a certain play. However, the game goes beyond the numbers.
Competitors confirmed that in a game with only three choices, strategy plays a major role in the contest when one evaluates opponents.
“You gotta be focused, be a quick thinker and have a plan,” said junior Keith Friederich.
Elements of the opponent to consider before throwing rock, paper or scissors could be gender, height, arm length, set-up speed, mental toughness and, well, in this case, blood alcohol level.
A perfect example of this is the strategy by one of the competitors who went by the name of Patrick Fitzpatrick. (It’s important to recognize that in the seedy underworld of rock, paper, scissors, false names or nicknames are a common occurrence.)
“I have a strategy for the girls (which he obviously wouldn’t reveal during the competition),” Fitzpatrick said. “Guys are a different story.”
Fitzpatrick turned out to be a prophet as he won his first two matches in dominating fashion against women but lost in the third round to the first male that stood across from him.
Officials were unable to confirm if Fitzpatrick would be forced to someday reveal his real identity if he were able to win an organized tournament.
In the first round, history was made as a competitor won a rock, paper, scissors match by knockout.
Hopeton Dias, known to a larger audience by his nickname, “The Jamaican Bacon,” lost his first round match by a 2-0 sweep and then literally fell on his back on the wooden floor at Marty’s like he’d been hit by a Joe Frazier left hook.
After reviewing the United States and international historical results, a knockout has never occurred.
Evan Bernier, a senior journalism major, used a smoke screen by publicly making a tactic known and then doing the complete opposite.
“I just want to get in there and get it over with,” Bernier said.
Bernier, the commentator of Panther women’s basketball, proceeded to use a slow-down technique to advance to the third round.
Megan Kennedy, a senior volleyball player at Eastern, brought the intensity of a grueling five-set match to her rock, paper, scissors play. The health studies major from LaGrange had the determination from the outset to make it through the field in a marathon event.
In her first two matches, she stood in the center of the ring without talking and barely blinking, attempting to psyche out her opponent. The pre-game staredown had the feel similar to a pre-fight instructions period of a boxing match.
Kennedy faced all male opponents in her run to the title and swept her way to the third round. After every victory, she would pour salt on the wound by doing the finger wag as the loser got ridiculed from the crowd. Kennedy eventually fell in the quarterfinals to a Marty’s bouncer.
“I persevered, and in the end, I couldn’t make it all the way through,” Kennedy said. “Overall, I had a good run.”
The tournament had its first pair of controversial elements involving a rules issue and a player being tricked into taking a dive. A player, who went under the name Octavio, was warned in his first two rounds about throwing paper with his hand held vertically instead of with the palm of his hand toward the ground. The officials deemed the act a clear violation of Rule 9 of the United States Rock, Paper, Scissors League rule book. Once Octavio attempted the act a second time, he was penalized one game in his best-of-three third-round match that he eventually won 2-1 against Friederich.
“He was trying to cheat me,” Friederich said. “He kept watching me, waiting and then (throwing) paper.”
The biggest storm that hit the competition was a brokered deal between a female and male player before a match ever started (their names will remain stricken as officials are currently investigating the issue).
In the third round, the male competitor offered to throw the match intentionally if his female opponent would agree to go out with him. Unfortunately, there is nothing in any rulebook against intentionally losing a match (it’s just frowned upon in the morality and spirit of competition).
Shockwaves resonated throughout Marty’s when the female agreed and shook on the brokered deal. The match ended 2-0 in her favor but in a Shakespearian twist, she refused her end of the bargain but was allowed to move on to the quarterfinals.
“That was a first in my book,” Talbert said.
Megan Sparks, a basketball player at Eastern, made it further than any Eastern athlete as she made it to the final four and received a free t-shirt for her effort.
Sparks used the opposite pre-game strategy of her roommate, Kennedy, as the senior finance major was jumping around similar to shadow boxing and pointing at her opponent before they met in the center.
Sparks was down 1-0 in two of her matches, and when the chips were down and the Mattoon native had her back to the wall facing elimination, she went to her reliable throw of rock to keep her alive in the tournament. Once Sparks won her quarterfinal matchup, she ran around Marty’s with her throwing hand in the air receiving high-fives from nearly every patron in the bar at that time like she’d just hit a game-winning shot at Lantz Arena.
“I never give up,” Sparks said as her entourage, which grew steadily as she advanced in the tournament, chanted her name repeatedly. “I almost won, too.”
The eventual champion was Nick Benzik. The physical education major won 2-1 in the championship match, and for those scoring at home, it was the trusty throw of rock that claimed the title. Benzik raised his arms (that had green body paint on them) to the sky and was mobbed by his fan base as if he’d just been named most valuable player of the Super Bowl.
“I did it for the free stuff, and I won it all,” Benzik said. “Who would’ve thought it, huh?”
The only issue that now remains if Benzik will compete in the regional competition at Brian’s Place in Mattoon. As the officials informed him of the schedule of events, Benzik admitted he has a 10 p.m. class on Fridays
“I don’t know if I can get out of it,” Benzik said. “Either way, I had fun. That’s what it’s about.”
Talbert then scrambled to get the information of the runner up in case Benzik is unable to make the scheduled time. Eastern officials were unable to comment on whether Benzik is able to categorize this as a university activity and therefore be granted an excused absence.
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