I am afraid. I am a red on a terror alert. But now I am willing to make a change.

I have lived my life as an observer, keeping things to myself and putting little trust in anyone else. The less people know about you the better, right?

I liked being mysterious and liked having people wonder what really is going on in my head because I thought if you keep people at a distance they have little opportunity to disappoint you or break the trust you have in them.

I found out I have been wrong for the past 21 years and don’t want to live in fear anymore.

I had lunch with a friend Thursday, someone I consider a very close friend, and it made me realize how little people really know about me simply because I don’t tell them.

This is a person I have been friends with for about five years, dating back to high school, and she hasn’t really had the opportunity to know me that well, and I guess nobody really has.

She started a simple question about who we have kissed in college (which I will keep between us), and it made us both realize for being such good friends, we really don’t talk all that much.

Most of that can be blamed on my inability to share nothing more than what happened to me in class or what I ate for lunch. For too long I have gotten by on being quiet or avoiding things by changing the subject.

I don’t want to be that person anymore and the rest of you out there should also consider a change.

I have only three semesters left in college and have very few people I can call close friends. My social network can only diminish after I leave Eastern and I want to be assured of leaving with more than just a few friends.

I just hope it’s not too late to take away the man of mystery tag that has followed me around for so long because of the expectations I already have put on me from my peers.

People shouldn’t distance themselves from others because they are afraid of getting hurt by people they put trust in. That is no way to live your life and I know this because I’ve lived it.

Take a chance in someone and put yourself at risk because you’ll never know what you are missing out on.

You should also speak your mind and never look back. Instead of thinking for a long time before you say something, try to get it off your mind right away.

I have learned the longer you think about something the more likely the truth won’t be completely told.

So don’t be scared anymore. Move that terror alert down to yellow and have a conversation with a friend from time to time.

Instead of playing the “what if I would have done this” game when you are older and long gone from Charleston, play the “I remember when I did that” game. I am sure it will be more memorable than the latter.