Should we go to war with Iraq?

This is a profound question facing our generation. Our greatest thinkers and philosophers will ponder and contemplate what the United States should do.

And while they’re thinking about that, I’ll be executing a three-team trade where I ship off my sleeper draft pick to my friend Dave’s brother, Dan, who sends his hot-hitting outfielder to Dave who sends one of his starting pitchers to me.

Confused yet? Allow me to explain.

Worrying about every problem facing the world for hours on end isn’t good for people. Constantly worrying about a war we as individuals are too insignificant to do anything about or are to apathetic toward is futile.

Everyone needs a leisure activity that will take their minds off the troubles of the world, if not for five minutes a day. For me, that activity is fantasy baseball.

By no means should everyone drop their picket signs and register in a fantasy baseball league, but the ones who find a few minutes away from political strife to track Pedro Martinez’s WHIP (Walks and Hits allowed per nine Innings Pitched — for those who don’t know the incredibly nerdy language of baseball).

For everyone not acquainted with the best daily break from the real world, here are a few pointers that will make your escape from reality more enjoyable.

No. 1: Join a league with people you know — In fantasy baseball bragging rights are always the most important thing. If you compete in a league with complete strangers, who are you going to brag to? There is no joy, no rapture, no sin greater than gloating to your closest friends and co-workers, proclaiming ‘I’m king of the world’ while raising the proverbial roof.

No. 2: Don’t take crap from anyone — Your buddy from high school or the cashier at work might be in first place now, but just wait until Frank Thomas starts hitting like he did in the mid 90s (Disclaimer: do not draft Frank Thomas! He is dead weight that has not hit over .255 in two years.) The key to fantasy baseball is you’re never out of contention until the last day of the season.

No. 3: Throw in the towel if there is any glimmer of a chance you might lose — If you’re out of contention in July, trade away all your best players to other teams that do have a chance. This move will save face because at the end of the season, you can tell the winner they would not have won if it wasn’t for your generous help.

No. 4: Remember fantasy baseball is not real — If one of your players strikes out three times in a game and commits an error, he is not trying to sabotage your team. These players don’t know who you are or if you have them on your team. Don’t interpret your team’s failure as your own personal inadequacy. The winners of fantasy leagues are usually some miser who spends an exorbitant amount of time researching players and teams, so they can win an insignificant competition and brag to their friends who they only know by their screen names.

No. 5: Have fun — Remember why you joined a fantasy baseball league in the first place. Do not let your team consume your life like the previously mentioned misers. Variety is the spice of life. Do not let one thing monopolize your time, whether it be fantasy baseball or the world’s ills.