Something was different about Monday morning, and it wasn’t just the unseasonably warm weather.

A line of people stood outside the Coles County Courthouse, waiting to escape the gloominess that hung with humidity in the air. The mood of the crowd was somber as we walked past television crews and metal detectors, and no one knew what to expect beyond the doors of courtroom one.

At least I didn’t.

Nearly two years after the crime, the capital murder trial of Anthony Mertz began Monday. Mertz, a former Eastern student and employee, is accused of strangling fellow student Shannon McNamara to death in June of 2001.

In total, he is charged with home invasion, first-degree murder and criminal sexual assault, some of which was post mortem.

Just shy of turning 22, McNamara was a senior from the Chicago suburbs who wanted to be a physical education teacher. McNamara was a member of the Alpha Phi sorority, and she apparently had many friends. A track star in high school and junior college, McNamara was active in the community and loved children. Her family described her as an angel.

I never knew Shannon McNamara, but I easily could have. As I sat in that courtroom and viewed crime scene photos of her dead body, followed by her sunny sorority portrait, I grew increasingly uncomfortable.

I’m a member of the editorial board of The Daily Eastern News, and I could be called upon to cover some aspect of the Mertz trial in the next few weeks. Technically, I should be unbiased and emotion free during something as monumental as a murder trial but, after hearing just the opening statements and McNamara’s roommate’s testimony, I felt sickened.

This was not an episode of “Law & Order,” nor was Judge Judy presiding over courtroom one. This was real — too real — and I didn’t belong.

The courtroom was packed with McNamara’s sorority sisters, members of the press and many others, including some curious residents who probably didn’t belong there either.

By law, a courtroom must remain open in almost all situations; however, a murder trial is not supposed to be a form of entertainment. Students may benefit from observing Mertz’s trial, but it’s unlikely anyone who witnesses any of the proceedings can walk away unaffected.

Reading the details of McNamara’s death in the paper, disturbing and gruesome as they have been described, was nothing compared to hearing and seeing photos from her murder scene.

I doubt I’ll have many opportunities to sit in on a murder trial, especially one involving two students I may have walked past on campus or stood next to at a bar. That’s why I went to the courthouse on Monday morning — partly out of curiosity and partly to experience what could be a landmark case. But I’m not going back to courtroom one. After witnessing only two hours of the trial, I am haunted by what I saw and heard. A mere two hours, and I’m certain to have nightmares tonight.

I can’t imagine how the victim’s family and friends must feel, knowing they have to recap McNamara’s final hours over and over again for the next three to four weeks.

I can’t imagine how anyone could not feel for that beautiful young woman on such an ugly February morning.