One of my favorite crafty gifts to make is a vintage-inspired wall hanging that reads: “People. What a bunch of bastards.”

Raise your hand if you too struggle with a short fuse when it comes to annoying folk. Yeah, me too. But what to do?

These days, such peeps seem to out breed endearing ones. While steering clear of these individuals might be the best bet, sometimes it’s just unavoidable.

Worry not, Grasshoppers! There are a few sure fire ways to get through your next internal eye roll. First though, let’s examine these top culprits:

1. The Doom Gloom – no matter how optimistic you want to be, this person always has a pessimistic spin to pee on your rainbow.

2. The Eternal Whiner – seems like The Doom Gloom dude, but no, this one has a particular ‘tude and complains about everything; if they won a new car they’d probably complain about the color.

3. Mx. [Always] Right – you could have a PhD in any given subject matter and still be wrong according to this know-it-all.

4. The Cooler than You and/or Shameless Self-Promoter – any social engagement is an opportunity to promote this one’s newest, greatest, most awesome product/idea; oh, and if you have something to share or add, this person will quickly remind you that theirs is better and cooler (and you should’ve already known this).

5. The Undiagnosed ADD/Scattered Brain – conversations here might be a lot like talking to your pet hamster, they hear words coming from your mouth but any hope that they may retain it are highly unlikely (you’ll likely be competing with about 100 spinning plates so…).

6. Everly Unreliable (and usually Always Late) – if you’ve got a deadline or milestone event, somehow or someway this person will either forget, cancel last minute, or just show up unfashionably late with a lame excuse, again.

7. Boredom’s Boring Bored – engagements with this dude might be a step back from the riveting activity of watching grass grow; conversations might make you sleepy by topic, tone, or textbook commentary.

8. Passive-Aggressive – when the relationship seems copacetic or perhaps there’s been a mild ripple in the water, this one will pretend like everything’s cool (to your face), but they either ghost you or have blacklisted you behind closed doors (this often happens to no known cause).

People in your life – friends, family, colleagues, strangers, and acquaintances – can be as amazing and touching as they can be shocking and disappointing.

What’s important is finding ways to work with these individuals instead of against them. Remaining calm and respectful, even if you’d like to take off your earrings and slap on some Vaseline, is key.

Most annoying people are either blissfully unaware of their shortcomings, or are trying to get a reaction. The quicker you learn to smile and breathe before responding can keep you in the driver seat. Here are 3 Survival Skills that can be applicable in most situations:

Number one- inspect what you expect.

Assessing the scene can often be all it takes to determine what steps to move forward. If you take a beat to determine whether any response is necessary, it can save you and the other person from an uncomfortable exchange of words.

If this person is intentionally provoking you- try using a defusing phrase, like “thanks for sharing”. There’s not a lot else they can say when you’re not engaging, arguing, or being on the defense of a game you didn’t want to play in the first place.

If they seem to be having a bad day and are using you as their soundboard, ask yourself what you’d want someone to say or do if you were the one venting. Maybe it’s annoying, maybe their whining is futile or petty, but the point isn’t about the what, it’s about the how.

Being compassionate can go a long way – that and karma can be quite a bear. Do unto others. Not because you want to, but because you should.

If they’re just a quirky clueless nut that has no idea what they’re doing/saying is bothersome to other, consider posing questions that encourage them to reflect.

Repeating what someone has said – confirming you heard them correctly – and then posing a question, can be a pivot in this person’s annoying behavior (and the world thanks you for it!).

For example, if Bob is rambling on about something you have zero interest or understanding, respectfully repeat what you heard followed by something a question about how this new knowledge would be useful in your oversaturated mind today.

Usually, this type of person would immediately laugh at the realization and redirect the conversation. The point is, you’re alerting them in a tactful yet crucial way that their behavior or language isn’t conducive.

Number two- seek common ground.

No matter who the person is – an impatient customer waiting in line, an over-soliciting relative, colleague, or friend, seeking common ground in an awkward situation can make all the difference.

Finding something you can talk about or immediately agree on – yes, the weather, the time-suck, whatever – can be the perfect potion to making an annoying person less annoying and the situation less exhausting.

Number three- public record.

This is probably the hardest skill you’ll need to hone, but it is the most effective. Being honest with someone and sharing how you feel in their company can help educate them in future relationships.

Calling a stranger out might not be the best course of action, however if you’re in a class with someone that hogs all the air time, or you someone at work is exceptionally neurotic, so long as you are being respectful and choose an appropriate time, being truthful can show the person you are empathetic and maybe they have something to work on.

Even better, sharing something about yourself (even if it’s not 100% true) and how you annoyed someone once and learned this lesson, shows that you are trying to pass on this vital knowledge in a caring and positive way.

Yes, it’s hard to deal with annoying people. And I wish I could say you’ll have the opportunity to limit your time around them post-graduation. But alas, in the big bad world we choose to call life, annoying people are often everywhere.

What’s important is to recognize that all of us are an annoying person to someone else at one time or another. If we’re conscious about our communication and compassion, people can seem less annoying by the minute.

Then again, my crafty gift still hasn’t lost its value. Or, maybe I’m that annoying person…

Editor’s Note: Do you have a question for Aunt T? Email the question to the address below!

Tera Johnson-Swartz can be reached at [email protected] or 217-581-2812.