Is Tom Brady really the ‘baddest’ guy

Jackson Bayer, Columnist

Before Sunday’s AFC Championship Game between the New England Patriots and the Kansas City Chiefs, Patriots quarterback Tom Brady was quoted as saying he was the “baddest mother (expletive) alive.”

Regardless of the game’s subsequent results, Brady has quite the impressive résumé to back up his claim: five Super Bowls, four Super Bowl MVPs, three regular season MVPs, he’s still playing at a high level in the NFL at age 41 and he’s regarded as one of the best quarterbacks to ever live, if not the best.

Not to mention, he’s married to supermodel Gisele Bündchen and famously kisses his children on the mouth (whether this helps or hurts his case is subjective).

While Brady has the credentials to back up his claim, can we really say that he is, in fact, the baddest (person) alive, or is he lying? Let’s look at a few other possible candidates and compare their résumés to Brady’s.

LeBron James: Another athlete; he’s generally regarded as the best basketball player of his generation. He’s won three NBA Championships, three Finals MVPs, four regular season MVPs and two Olympic gold medals. He also opened up a school last year, which might be cooler than anything any other athlete has ever done. Some points against LeBron include his six NBA Finals losses and the fact that he willingly moved to Cleveland to join the Cavaliers in 2014.

Beyoncé: Does anything really need to be said here?

Matthew McConaughey: He’s won an Academy Award, a Golden Globe, a SAG Award and most importantly, he’s won the hearts of millions of women and men alike. How many actors, or just people in general, have a catchphrase as recognizable as “Alright, alright, alright?” McConaughey is one bad man.

Drake: Hahahahahahahahahahahahahaha

Cardi B: She’s lived the American Dream – a stripper-turned-rapper-turned-cultural icon. Last year, she had a daughter and named her Kulture. Is that a positive or negative in this argument? Does it matter?

Charlie Sheen: He’s a self-proclaimed warlock* with tiger blood* and Adonis DNA* who’s always winning*. His HIV diagnosis is a game-changer, however, which probably knocks him out of contention.

*claims can neither be confirmed nor denied

Donald Trump: The current President; he is currently keeping the government shut down and has done so for longer than any other President in United States history. He has also promised to make America “great.” Has it happened yet? If it does, we’ll return to Trump’s candidacy.

Barack Obama: Was President for eight years, and is still President in the minds and hearts of countless Americans.

2Pac: He’s still alive, right?

Sure, there are other notable people who could be considered for this title that Tom Brady has bestowed upon himself, but after compiling the current list, a few things are for sure: Tom Brady is not known simply by his first name, like LeBron or Beyoncé, and he is not President, nor has he opened a school or named his child Kulture.

The verdict: Tom Brady might be lying.

Jackson Bayer is a senior English and creative writing major. He can be reached at 581-2812 or [email protected].