Hard times in Hollywood

Just when you thought things were looking bleak and Ashton Kutcher and Demi Moore were finally about to get a divorce, a ray of light appeared in the form of a wedding ring and a crappy video. Demi Moore was seen at the premier in of her new movie Margin Call in New York wearing her wedding ring. This could either mean something or everything, depending on how deep of a person Demi Moore is.

Ashton Kutcher, on the other hand, is very deep, as he took to the internet to give his thoughts about a bunch of things neither you or I care about. Sparing your four minutes of your life so you don’t have to watch it, basically Ashton subliminally saying that all the stories about his failing relationship are false. Very few people want to listen to Michael Kelso philosophize and even fewer people are more pretentious sounding than Ashton is in this video.

Basically, no one wins in this story. Demi Moore is still married to a self-righteous loser, Ashton Kutcher is still married to a woman who is not a 23 year-old blonde girl in a hot tub, and we are all still reading about it.

Oh wait, someone did win. Wetzel & Sons Moving and Storage did. They got a lot of free advertising from all the pictures of their vans outside Demi and Ashton’s house.

But adultery isn’t just for adults. Teen heart-throb Justin Bieber is supposedly cheating on his girlfriend, Selena Gomez, with Argentinean model, Macarena Lemos. At 19 years old, Bieber, like Ashton, is simply growing tired with Selena’s old age and is trying to catch some younger tail.

After the amazing success of her music career, Kim Kardashian is set to begin her film career by starring in a new Tyler Perry movie titled The Marriage Counselor. I can only hope that when I illegally download this movie to my computer, it doesn’t give me nearly as many viruses as her other movie did. You know, that one with Ray J.

Hollywood is facing rough times right now, folks. Power couples are going down the drain left and right, and we’re all going to have to suffer through another Tyler Perry movie.