I am not a violent person.

I swear, I am really not.

So when I suggest this, you should remember-this is completely out of my character.

Back in the old times when someone broke a rule, they did not slap him or her on the wrist, or make them pay a fine.

Instead, the whole town would gather, the villagers would pick up rocks and the accused would stand in the middle.

The mob would then proceed to toss the rocks at the person until they died.

This was the art of stoning.

Now, for some reason we have abandoned this completely awesome form of capital punishment. I think we should bring it back.

Not for murders, for thieves or even for terrorists.We should bring it back for those among us.

The people who should be subject to this form of torture are those who choose to engage in public displays of affection (or as the kids like to commonly refer to it: PDA).

PDA is when two people (most likely in a relationship, but sometimes not) treat a public place where plenty of people can see them, like a motel near the airport.

This creates an uncomfortable situation for everyone else involved because they are doing normal things like not going at each other like a pair of wild, hungry dogs.

For some reason, those ages 15 to about 25 think this is OK to do in polite society.

Pretty much overnight, the lines at Six

Flags have turned into a teenage orgy, while the rest of the well-adjusted people in society are just trying to get mentally prepared to find the cameras during Raging Bull.

This complete ignorance by the accused is probably because they watch too much MTV or something.

For those of you reading this, PDA is never acceptable (except the ‘kiss the bride’ part at a wedding. In that case, go nuts, because you only get one chance. Except Larry King, he got nine chances.)

The reason God created bedrooms, dark alleys, secluded hallways, closets and the back seats of cars was for private displays of affection.

The rest of the world was created for eating, smoking cigarettes and work.

Just because it is your second week of school and you met the love of your life at an ice cream social or something does not mean the rest of campus wants to see it.

Now, you will argue that I cannot understand what you and your significant lover are feeling, because you are so in love and it is so amazing.

I will argue that you are a moron and give it two weeks before the love of your life stops answering your phone calls or starts sexting your roommate.

So please people, keep your business in private.

Because when the revolution comes, there are plenty of rocks on campus.

Dan Cusack is a senior journalism major. He can be reached at 581-7942 or at

[email protected].