Until the real journalists return to the Daily Eastern News, we here at the DEN Online are simply content to offer these thoughts on writing and the field of reporting.

Sure, we could do some nice, in-depth reporting, but then again you probably wouldn’t take the time to read it, would you?

Internet publishing can be more powerful than print journalism, given its immediacy and lack of corporate or governmental filters.

–Dave Winer

The difference between literature and journalism is that journalism is unreadable and literature is not read.

–Oscar Wilde

The difference between managing and editing is that a word doesn’t tell you to go f*** yourself when you tell it to move.

–Louise Kohl, one-time editor of MacUser

On behalf of the newspaper industry (new, cost-cutting motto: “All the News That”) I wish to announce some changes we’re making to serve you better. When I say “serve you better,” I mean “increase our profits.” We newspapers are very big on profits these days. We’re a business, just like any other business, except that we employ English majors.

–Dave Barry

A newspaper is not the place to go to see people actually earning a living, though journalists like to pretend they never stop sweating over a hot typewriter. It is much more like a brothel – short, rushed bouts of really enjoyable activity interspersed with long lazy stretches of gossip, boasting, flirtation, drinking, telephoning, strolling about the corridors sitting on the corner of desks, planning to start everything tomorrow. Each of the inmates has a little specialty to please the customers. The highest paid ones perform only by appointment; the poorest take on anybody, The editors are like madams – soothing, flattering, disciplining their naughty, temperamental staff, but rarely obliged to satisfy the clients personally between the printed sheets.

–from a UPI Washington Bureau Manager

A Journalist is a machine that converts coffee into copy.

— Michael Ryan Elgan (1961-?)

I believe in equality for everyone, except reporters and photographers.

–Gandhi

The four pillars of wisdom that support journalistic endeavors are: lies, stupidity, money-grubbing, and ethical irresponsibility.

–Marlon Brando

A curious journalist-those words should be redundant, but, alas, I have to tell you they are not.

–Charles Peters

It takes great self-confidence to write a newspaper column. Some might say it takes arrogance. Be that as it may, my willingness to pronounce on a great many matters of which I have little or no knowledge is one of my prime qualifications for this trade.

–Russell Baker

“ALL EDITORS ARE FAILED WRITERS, BUT THEN SO ARE MOST WRITERS.” — T. S. Eliot

“I LOVE DEADLINES. I LIKE THE WHOOSHING SOUND THEY MAKE AS THEY FLY BY.”

— Douglas Adams

“THE FIRST DRAFT OF ANYTHING IS SHIT.” — Ernest Hemingway