For more than a year now, “reality” television has been all the rage on legitimate and half-baked networks alike, with shows spreading like a life-choking cancer across television airwaves in households nationwide.

From MTV’s youth-oriented shows such as “The Real World,” “The Osbournes” and “Sorority Life” to more legitimate network fair like “Survivor,” “Big Brother,” “American Idol” and “The Anna Nicole Show,” “reality” television seems to be on a race to present the most depraved level of human misery in an easily digested, half-hour slice of life.

While “reality” television is nothing new (PBS debuted the original series “An American Family” in 1973, Fox’s “Cops” debuted in 1989 and MTV’s “The Real World” first reared its ugly head in 1990), now that television programmers have realized Americans are gluttons for the punishment of others, “reality” television has become the norm rather than mere novelty.

With one show copping from ones before it only to spawn another in a string of shows, supposed reality television is now presenting a reality known only to those on the shows themselves.

To call much of today’s “reality” television an even remotely accurate portrayal of life is often laughable at best. While the shows may at times prove entertaining, they do so at the price of the dignity and self respect of the participants.

At the very least, I’d prefer seeing “reality” television pass itself off as nihilistic farce rather than the lives of real people; at least that way, I wouldn’t feel so bad endlessly laughing at it all.

MTV’s “The Osbournes” turned one of metal’s founding fathers and greatest voices into the most hilarious anti-drug campaign this country has ever seen. It’s almost as though MTV was blatantly trying to get a message of, “See kids, this is what happens when cocaine, liquor and LSD are taken in massive quantities for the better part of two decades” across to all the kiddies watching at home.

And while at its core, “The Osbournes” shows parents trying diligently to raise their children in the face of average adversity, it begs the question how much of the show is cobbled together in order to present the facade of Ozzy, the bumbling, stuttering, but well-meaning father and Jack and Kelly the uncontrollable, potty-mouthed miscreants?

While I’m sure a degree of what the audience ultimately sees after weeks of editing may represent the family, there’s presumably a great deal of spin used to present the family as anything but realistic.

Even sadder are MTV’s other reality shows, “Sorority Life” and the long-running hit, “The Real World” on which the term suspended disbelief is given whole new meaning by the audience.

I’d like to think, if only for a few seconds, that all sorority members are not petty, neurotic alcoholics with enough emotional baggage to sink the Titanic and frighten any prospective mate away in a matter of moments (But then again, I could be wrong). Although the show proves at times hilarious, this humor comes most often at the expense of the girls unfortunate enough to garner screen time with their inane ramblings and drunken antics.

Even on the long-running “Real World,” the real life participants have become carbon copies of one another, bickering, back stabbing and blindly stammering around while airing their thoughts during weekly confessionals. Like support group rejects who seem to have forgotten their medication, many “Real World” cast members seem to forget the cushy deal they’ve won for themselves via their personal quirks and good looks.

Just once, I’d like to see someone on “The Real World” fully realizing that they’ve just walked haphazardly into free rent, a beautiful home and the opportunity to live consequence-free for six months.

Rather than picking fights and creating needless drama, I’d like to see some cast member walking blithely through the taping, simply making the most of the sweet accommodations. Sure, they may not garner much screen time, but maybe that’s all for the best anyway.

Possibly the most unrealistic however was this summer’s sensation “American Idol,” on which a gaggle of wannabe celebrities vied for the favor of Paula Abdul and Randy Jackson of all people. I’m sure Paula is qualified to pick potential pop stars because she had a couple hits a decade ago only to drop far below the world’s radar in shame.

With “Idol,” we have pop stars being bred on network television on the whim of programmers and show biz has-beens (that’s how The Beatles formed, right?). The only more emasculating road to pop stardom would come under the tutelage of Lou Pearlman.

As for “The Anna Nicole Show,” I won’t even go into that train wreck of human misery. But I’m sure it screams reality, because, you know, everyone can relate to an ex-Guess? jeans model who duped an 80-year-old billionaire out of half of his fortune.

All I’m asking for is a little reality in “reality” programming. Not that obnoxious whiners with emotional issues aren’t entertaining, it’s just that I doubt their validity in something tagged as “reality.”