Tina Leonard of the Counseling Center told students they had control over their own fates at a seminar called “Feeling Good is a Gift to Yourself” last night at the Martin Luther King, Jr. University Union.

Her seminar covered reasons for low self-esteem and how to turn those negative feelings into positive ones.

“Self-esteem is a gift because it is something that we take care of it, it is precious,” she said. “It is something we develop.”

Leonard took her definition for self-esteem from the book The Power of Self -Esteem by Nathaniel Branden. In his book, Branden defines self esteem as “the experience that we are appropriate to life and the requirements of life, confidence in our ability to think and cope with the basic challenges of life.”

Leonard said that low self-esteem stems from doubt in self, childhood messages developed by parents, siblings and peers as well physical aspects.

“I hate to hear parents tell their children that they are bad,” she said. “The word (italics) bad has such an impact.”

“People look in the mirror to see flaws,” Leonard continued. “Nine out of ten times a person will look in the mirror and find something that they are not happy about.”

Some suggestions for improving self esteem are having an attitude of openness and curiosity to new ideas, new experiences, and new possibilities of life; enjoying the humorous aspects of life; finding comfort in assertive behavior in oneself and learning to take a compliment.

If someone says that you did good say, “Thank you, I worked hard.”

Cinffany Berry, freshman elementary education major, came for her health class but said, “(The seminar) made me think about the proper way to carry yourself, and that we should appreciate ourselves.”

Leonard stressed that individuals should “never give up the conviction that you have control over your life.” She also urged that people learn to say “I can,” rather than, “I can’t,” and be less serious about life.