Take a moment, if you will, and think back to the Chicago Bulls’ glory years, way back in the ancient times of the mid-1990s.

Think about the press conferences Michael Jordan and the rest of the gang used to have after ball games. They would downplay virtually every win, saying they had bigger things in mind.

Even on the court, right after the buzzer, MJ and Scottie and the crew would walk to the lockers stone-faced. If you didn’t know, you might have suspected they lost most of their games.

The only time you saw any emotion was when they won the NBA championship. Then they’d dance on the scorer’s table, bear hug anything that moved and spray $300 bottles of champagne like it was tapwater.

Now snap out of it and look at the 2001 edition of the team. Yes, they suck, and yes, it will be a while before they get better. But all you had to do was watch the end of their ugly win over the New York Knicks Saturday night to find out how truly far the franchise has fallen.

As Brad Miller tried not to lose the ball in the final seconds to preserve the 84-79 victory and the crowd’s roar built to a crescendo, confetti began to drop from the ceiling of the United Center. Streamers fluttered down to the hardwood. It was like a New Year’s Eve bash, except without the New Year’s Eve part.

It was Chicago’s first win of the year, and it came against the Knicks, the team’s mortal enemies from the last ten years. Nonetheless, the Bulls were partying like it was 1999, or at least 1993.

This is what it has come to: Chicago is losing its mind over an early-season win over a mediocre squad.

Eddy Curry, the erstwhile Baby Shaq, rushed the floor with fellow rookies Trenton Hassell and Tyson Chandler, basking in the lukewarm vibes of their first professional victory. Curry was grinning like it was Christmas, Easter and the Fourth of July all rolled into one. Wait until he finds out most of his time with the Bulls is going to feel like Tax Return Day.

These are the standards Chicago has set for itself.

No longer do we look forward to games with title implications. We look forward to games where we might see Vince Carter dunk on the entire Bulls team at once, including the coaching staff. Or maybe we’ll finally see Rasheed Wallace’s head explode (which would probably result in a technical foul).

And if we win, hey, all the better. We’ve still got party favors left over from 1991.

The Bulls used to settle for nothing less that supreme domination of the entire league, and they didn’t crack a smile until they did. Now they’re teaching Curry and Chandler, their “foundation,” that every win should be celebrated like Mardi Gras.

At least they’ll save money on the champagne.