Ever since I received my driver’s license, I have spent a good portion of my life going to concerts.

I spent my Monday evening at an Arcade Fire concert pressed up against a sweaty back, with noise blaring and bodies around me dancing savagely. You may think this sounds like a nightmare, but to me – this is heaven. However, it always seems that whenever I go to a concert, there has to be some rude newbie who has no sense of concert etiquette. For those of you who are planning to attend concerts this summer, I hope you can abide by these simple rules.

Do: Get to the show early if you want a good seat.

I am the kind of person that if I paid for a general admission ticket, I am going to get to a show very early. I once got in line 13 hours early just to be guaranteed a spot at the front. Be prepared when you do so. If you can park close, prepare for the weather, bring snacks and something to do to keep yourself busy.

Trust me, you will never be more grateful that you packed an extra blanket and Harry Potter and the Deathly Hallows, than while waiting in line.

Do Not: Cut your friends in line if you are late.

This has to be one of my biggest annoyances when it comes to attending concerts. Too many times have I waited in line for hours in the freezing cold or sweltering heat only for a bunch of tweens to cut their friends in line only 30 minutes before the doors open.

Do: Be polite to the security guards.

If you are lucky enough to land a spot at the front of the floor, the security officers will often be able to put your coat and purse in front of the guard rail. And trust me, when the show starts you will be glad not to have that extra layer of luggage.

Do Not: Be rude during the opening act.

All too often when I go to a show, people will ignore the opening act and will go the extra mile of rudeness by playing “Angry Birds” on their iPhone for the whole performance. Remember, the opening act was most likely the band’s decision so familiarize yourself with the act before the show.

Do Not: Be THAT guy or girl.

You know the one I am talking about – the people who are completely wasted by the time a performance starts. They will chain smoke and spill beer on the people in front of them and shout vulgar comments at the performer. Why would you pay money to see a show when you don’t plan on being conscious for it? Trust me, a concert venue is not where you want to do your best Charlie Sheen impression.

Do: Have fun.

Don’t attend a show because the band is cool or trendy or because your significant other is forcing you to be there. Too often I have gone to shows when people just stand around like gargoyles. Enjoy yourself, because there is no bigger compliment to a performer than seeing their fans enthusiastic about their music. Also, make friends with the people around you. Not only will you have a blast dancing and singing along to the lyrics, it will also make it less uncomfortable when you are pressed up against their sweaty body for three hours.

It seems that the awkward pauses between songs are the times when audience members want to give their vocal commentary of the evening’s events. I once went to a show when someone shouted how tight the performers jeans were. It sounds funny, but it definitely wasn’t the time and place. The singer had just finished a very emotional ballad and instead he’s being told how his business looks in denim. Plus, the beligerent idiot who shouted this was right next to me. I felt like a moron.

Do: Bring cash.

In my experience, it always seems that if I want to buy merchandise, vendors are only accepting cash. Plus, if you have cash at hand, you will be able to avoid the stampede to the ATM machine and will be able to escape the mosh pit of sweaty bodies even sooner.

Shelley Holmgren can be reached at 581-7942 or [email protected].