Column: Cover your nose to hide your stupidity

Ryan Meyer

I can’t decide what’s worse, not covering your nose with a mask or letting your mask act as a chin strap. I think not covering your nose is worse because at least those who only cover their chins aren’t trying to hide the fact that they aren’t exactly the sharpest tools in the shed. They are comfortable basking not only in the germs of others, but also in their own stupidity.

The ones that don’t cover their noses are worse because they are trying to disguise their unawareness. Or, even worse, they don’t know that the nose is in fact integral to the breathing process, therefore giving it the ability to spread what they refer to as the “corona.”

Corona is different from its cousin, COVID-19, largely because it cannot be caught twice, and if one gets corona, they get corona. This arguably makes corona considerably more lethal than COVID-19 because it hasn’t yet been recognized by mythology experts like Dr. Anthony Fauci. Experts on corona, such as that one guy on spring break, they know what’s up. They speak only in logic and fact.

“I think they’re blowing it way out of proportion,” says Brianna Leeder in a YouTube video by CBS News. “I think it’s doing way too much.” Yes, Brianna, I too think it is doing way too much. And so do the families of the 221,000 people who have died to it.

“If I get corona, I get corona,” said Brady Sluder. “At the end of the day, I’m not going to let it stop me from partying.”

Sluder apparently issued an apology after receiving backlash for these words of wisdom. I guess the masses can’t handle the truth.

I’m willing to bet that these exact words have been spoken by one of Eastern’s many enlightened students. These people are so ahead of the times that I had to write a column about it.

You might be thinking, “Why is this jackass quoting a video from March?” Well, it’s because people are still acting and talking like this. COVID-19 is only the vehicle of this chaos. The people who think like this are the drivers. It could be you, it could be your grandmother, it could be your president (It is).

Guys, even the emoji can wear a mask right. Granted, it probably doesn’t have a nose underneath the mask, but you do. People say that there won’t be no virus after November 4th, but they say that like it’s a bad thing. That would be fantastic!


Ryan Meyer is a sophomore journalism major. He can be reached at 581-2812 or [email protected]