Gosh, aren’t words great? Where would we be without words?

There are words that we use every day that we take for granted, but perhaps more egregiously there are words we do not use often that we absolutely should. In the long history of the English language, there have been many glorious words. 

These words are too numerous to name here, but below are just a few of these words that have been neglected to the detriment of society. 

Omnipresent

Wow. What a word. Meaning “common” or “widespread,” it is also a very easy word to start saying more often. It sounds like it could be one of the Transformers or the name of a software company run by an eccentric billionaire with a bad haircut. 

Or perhaps it is the name of a corporation in a James Bond movie that serves as a cover for a sinister organization of the world’s most diabolical criminal minds. Hopefully 007 can defeat Omnipresent with a combination of unnecessary violence and cool old cars. 

Onmipresent is also the only adjective on this list, so enjoy it. 

Rapscallion

There is no excuse not to use this word at least three times a day. Meaning “a mischievous person,” rapscallion has personality and an old-fashioned flair. It could possibly be mistaken for an expensive seafood item, but that does not take anything away from how fun it is to say.

This word probably has not been spoken out loud since the turn of the 20^th Century. Most things from that time period were very bad and should not be brought back into modern life, but the word rapscallion is worth resurrecting. 

Saberhagen

OK, technically this is not a word in the common sense. It is the last name of former MLB pitcher Bret Saberhagen. But oh my, is it fun to say. Saberhagen’s name was not the only notable thing about him. He won two Cy Young awards during his career with the Kansas City Royals and was the MVP of the 1985 World Series. 

Unfortunately for Saberhagen, no one cares about his accomplishments. They just care about his silly, silly name. He probably sits awake at night wishing his name was not so fun to say. If he had been born Bret Johnson or Bret Alexander or something, he would be remembered for his athletic talent. 

These are just three of the words that must become part of our modern lexicon. These words and countless others can provide joy in a time of constant depression and sorrow. Or maybe they are just words. 

Adam Tumino is a junior journalism major. He can be reached at 581-2812 or [email protected]