Opinion: Don’t talk to me until I’ve had my coffee

Megan Keane, Columnist

Hang on for a minute...we're trying to find some more stories you might like.


Email This Story






Do we need it? Yes. Do we want it? Yes. Do we love it? Yes. 

I cannot retain full-consciousness until I’ve ingested at least half a pot of black coffee in the morning. 

I drink it on an empty stomach. There’s a whole bunch of memes about it circulating on social media, and I’m sure a lot of college students can relate.

I don’t like the idea of being so dependent on a substance, but I’ve been a caffeine addict since the 8th grade. The leg shaking and the stomach grumbles are maybe signifying it’s a bigger problem than what I had originally thought. 

See, when you drink a lot of caffeine, you suppress your appetite. I don’t do it intentionally, I just need a lot of coffee to function. You literally don’t feel hungry, but your stomach grumbles and alerts the whole class that you haven’t eaten. I don’t get embarrassed by that kind of stuff anymore, but I am concerned that I drink coffee until about four in the afternoon and then eat. 

It doesn’t feel like a problem until I’m shaky and a little lightheaded and realize—woo, I need to eat something. Anybody else? 

Some of my classmates have mentioned a similar problem, and there’s an easy solution: eat something. Right? Wrong. It should be as simple as knowing to eat, but a lot of times, it’s a time crunch that’s the problem. It’s either take the time to engorge yourself on coffee or eat. Just like the nap vs food predicament. We either have time for a nap or for lunch, but not both.

Any given day, as I’m going from class to class, I’m most likely doing so on an empty stomach. I don’t feel that way until much, much later. The hunger really catches me by surprise a lot of the time, as if I don’t know that I have to eat. 

Coffee does not do much for me anymore other than clear my foggy brain, suppress my appetite, and make me shaky. I’ve been dependent on it so long, I literally drink it to maintain my homeostasis. I tried to do that thing for a couple months where you start off your day with a glass of water and it’s supposed to give you just as much energy as coffee, but I did not have any energy at all. 

Actually, at that point in my life, I think I was surviving on sheer adrenaline brought on by my panic disorder, so that could have been why I experienced a roller coaster of energy. 

I digress. Coffee is great. I depend on it, which I’ve come to accept. But I am a human, we change by the second, so by the time this gets published, I may have a different opinion. But for now, I am comfortable with my addiction. 

Megan Keane is a senior English and psychology major. She can be reached at 581-2812 or at [email protected]