Get to know your partner more

Andrew Paisley

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In any relationship, there will always be baggage that you will have to decide either to accept as part of your partner’s life or let it be a reason to end things.

We all have experienced these things in one form or another, and sometimes they are little things and sometimes they are bad things.

In my relationship, I have had to accept the fact that my boyfriend has a son.

While his son is now an adult, as my boyfriend took him in and legally adopted him when he was still a teenager, this is still something that I have to accept.

My boyfriend’s son and I get along great, and I am happy about that, because I have heard horror stories where people do not get along with their significant other’s children and it can cause a lot of problems down the road.

It was never a hard decision for me though, because I know that his son is a part of him and I care about my boyfriend so of course I accept and welcome him.

You may have experienced other things in your relationships that were really hard to accept, and you may even question if it is worth being with this person because of the baggage that comes along with it.

My first advice would be to take things slow in the beginning.

I met Christian three months ago, and I never envisioned at first being in a relationship with him.

This could be because I have been hurt so many times in my past with prior relationships and I never had a truly decent one.

With the tools that I have learned in recovery, I decided that I would take things with him one day at a time, and that is what I have done for the last three months.

It has not been easy, and there were times where I wondered if I was making the right decision, but I had to seek guidance from my conscience and my Higher Power.

Christian has never done anything to me that would be a reason to reject a relationship with him. He has treated me amazingly, respects my recovery, aims to make me happy and truly cares about me.

While I still do not bank on the future, as we do not know what all will occur in the future, I know that right now I am with a person who makes me happy and that is what I have always wanted.

I honestly do not think that I would have found this much happiness had I jumped in without getting to know Christian.

I analyzed who he was, I considered my options and I considered the person he was.

These are things we should all do with every relationship we are considering getting into.

Maybe your partner has a bad habit that you just do not like and it makes it very difficult for you to be around them.

I know when I met Christian I was so worried that he was someone who used drugs or drank alcohol, two things that I cannot and will not be a part of.

I stuck around for and observed for quite a while, enough to realize that he did not do those things, so it was not a problem.

I am so glad I had not jumped into a relationship with him and things would have been different.

This is why you need to get to know your partner.

 

Andrew Paisley is a senior journalism major. He can be reached at 581-2812 or at [email protected]