*Editor’s note: For obvious reasons, though the students in the following article shared embarrassing stories of drunken, regretful nights to help us make a point, they requested to remain anonymous. Typically, this is something we rarely do; however, we want to ensure that these stories do not bite the sources in the butt, and we are thankful that they shared them with us. We believe that many of us can relate to wild stories of crazy nights in college, and we hope these stories make you laugh, but also make you think.

A junior marketing major woke up in his car after a night of drinking, not knowing why he was half-naked.

“I wake up in the morning and I’m in my car; (I) don’t know what happened to half the clothes I was wearing the night before. (I was) wandering the streets of Champaign (and) puked in a garbage can,” the junior marketing major said.

The rest of that morning was followed by bouts of “puking,” the junior said.

“(I) go back to my cousin’s apartment, puke in there, and as I am walking back to my car, I puke on some random bushes,” he said.

Eighty-one percent of college students have tried alcohol at least once in their lifetime, and 67 percent report they have been drunk, according to a 2016 Monitoring Future Study.

Several Eastern students, including the junior marketing major, are part of that 81 percent and live to tell the tale.

Like a senior accounting major, who woke up one morning thinking he was laying in a bed full of his own sweat.

He was wrong.

“One morning, I woke up after a long night out of drinking with my girlfriend, at the time, and I said ‘Hi’ to her because I didn’t even know she was over at first, and she looks at me and she goes, ‘What are we sleeping in? Why is the bed wet,’” the senior accounting major said. “(Then I realized) I peed myself and I was all wet. I thought I sweated the bed, (but) I wet the bed, so it was a great night apparently.”

A senior biological sciences major was not very cautious herself, she said, and got caught up in not one, but two bad situations because of college drinking.

“I had a mug of Jack Daniels and (my friends and I) had three shots of fireball before we left. One of my friends was making me mad … I guess I tried to punch her in the face, but I missed and punched a random girl in the face,” she said.

The senior biological sciences major said all she remembers is taking another shot and ending up outside.

“The next thing I know, I woke up in the hospital, and I was wearing a wig when I went to the party; the wig was off when I was at the hospital and there was throw up in the wig and all over my body,” she said.

The senior biological sciences major continued to explain her tumultuous adventure at the hospital, where she said her experience was less than a fun escapade.

“I had the ECG cords plugged all over my body … and I literally had to pee in a pan on the bed because I couldn’t walk,” she said. “That night of my hangover, the police came and arrested me for underage drinking … So that night, I got booked.”

*Be sure to check out our story on hangover tips here.

Maria Ruettiger can be reached at 581-2812 or at [email protected].