We all get it. We all have problems and we all need friends to vent to, but what we do not need is when people, instead of venting, treat the person as a punching bag. As a place to go to lash out angrily at a person who is not at fault. That is not fair nor is it healthy to you and that person’s relationship.
It’s worse when you’re in a relationship with the person, be it friendly or more than friends, and that person knows that not only do you have your own problems your facing now-school, work, studying- and may even have some trauma in your past that causes this out lash to be worse than intended, way worse.
Now you sit here trying to contemplate what to say to this person, trying to judge how to respond but not lash out. It can be hard, considering the person may or may not have said some hurtful things and also may have some past experiences where they were treated wrong as well so you do not want to upset them in any way pertaining to that instance.
So you do the only thing you know how to do and play reverse psychology and in hopes to get the person to A: feel guilty they yelled at you for no reason, or B: get them to open up.
Which in turn they respond in saying they do not want to talk about it nor do they need help and they will refuse any outward sympathies from you, all in all still refusing to apologize or change their attitude towards you.
This is where you make the decision to either forgive them of their rude outburst and move on or decide how to explain how, you understand that they do not want to talk about their problems, but it’s not your problem that they are mad in the most sophisticated way you can muster up, without making it sound like you do not care about their feelings.
Personal reactions are a big deal for human society in trying to build a community. That’s why it’s frowned upon, in some instances, when people choose to be alone or an introvert, or chose puppies and kittens over human reaction.
But human reactions like this, are the reason why I chose to be alone. I cannot stand being treated like lesser than a person and people should not be treating others so. I do not see the point of putting effort out and trying to be a friend, or more than friends, and doing nothing but getting shot down and treated like a choice.
I am not a choice. I am not an option. I am a human being with feelings, even if I like to pretend that I do not have them, and I do deserve to be treated as so.
And so do you.
Do not let anyone treat you in any way that you are not okay with. Be it your friends or family and yes I am talking about parents because there comes a time when you do have to tell them that you are an adult and are allowed to make your own choices and mistakes.
Stand up for yourself and know your worth.
Liz Dowell is a senior journalism major. She can be reached at 581-2812 or [email protected]