I wanted to write a column about Pastor Sean Harris, but I’m not going to.

For those who have the joy of being unaware of who this man is, he is a pastor from Fayetteville, N.C. who became an overnight poster boy for bigotry after he delivered a sermon which suggested girls “should act like girls, dress like girls and smell like young girls” and considered homosexuality as immoral as child molestation.

In preparation for the column I’m not writing, I listened to 27 minutes and 11 seconds of a bitter diatribe against homosexuality, and I became overly enraged and feared my eardrums would burst from the sheer noise of the hate speech.

Finally, after 27 minutes of nonsensical, sexist, bigoted remarks, he spoke to the root of his issue. He stated that people who grow up without their biological fathers are significantly more likely to grow up poor, “do poorly in school, smoke, drink, use drugs and wind up in jail.”

He didn’t say “strong male role model,” or “father figure;” he specifically said “biological father.” He had to say “biological father,” or he would not have a case against homosexuality.

Christian procreation and the concept of a nuclear, biological family have to be his main causes. It is the only way he can spread his diseased form of thinking through the generations.

He states to his crowd: “You’re supposed to get married, and you’re supposed to get pregnant…These children worship the one true God.”

Biology has nothing to do with the definition of family. Genetics do not serve as a certificate for better parenting, and blood is never going to be as important as a loving, nurturing environment.

This column is not about a bigot with a subdued and mentally bigoted audience; it’s about family.

The concept of a biological, nuclear family as the only acceptable definition of family in the 21st century is sickening.

Saturday, May 12, marks a poorly recognized holiday. Flower vendors don’t send out coupons and Hallmark has yet to publish a generic poem in its honor. Hell, Wikipedia doesn’t even have a page recognizing it. The Saturday before Mother’s day marks Birth Mother’s Day, a day that honors the brave women who give their gift of life to new, non-biological parents.

Families formed by adoption do not lie within the comfortable definition of the average American family or Harris’ view of a God-loving family.

As an adopted child, I’ve been astonished at the number of times I’ve had to answer the question, “Have you ever met your ‘real’ parents?”

My answer is always the same: Yes, my “real” parents woke up in the middle of night to feed me when I was an infant. They taught me how to ride my bike, and they bought me a margarita on my 21st birthday. My “real” parents are the only parents I have ever known.

Harris’ idea that a congenial act and nine months of gestation create parents is atrocious. Putting biological families on a pedestal prevents progress. It causes people to hold onto traditionalist ideas and prevents loving heterosexual couples, loving homosexual couples and single individuals from experiencing the joys of family.

A famly should be defined as any loving unit. In junior high health class, we are all told sex doesn’t equal love. It’s time we learn biology doesn’t either.

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