Discussion breaks male emotional stereotypes

In a world where many feel men dominate, some men feel the world is lacking in a few areas that involve men and particular relationships.

John Gruzlowski, Tim Engles and Ray Watkins’s relationship experiences were shared at a round table discussion Tuesday to help men explore the world and to realize that some situations, not as traditional as others, may not always be thought of as wrong.

The discussion was held in honor of Women’s History and Awareness Month.

Engles gave his experiences of how other cultures can change someone in a positive way. Engles studied to be an English major, lived in Turkey for 2 years and also lived in Korea for 2 years. He felt that by living in these conditions he realized he didn’t have to be anything particular but just to be who he wanted to be.

“Living in other cultures and seeing the way people react made me reflect on how I myself should act,” Engles said.

He said other cultures were affectionate compared to Americans when it came to men.

“Turkish men were very macho but also very comfortable with themselves to the point where when greeting some other man they would kiss on the other’s cheek,” Engles said. “The Korean men were also very affectionate and very group-oriented as well,” he said.

From his experience being in other countries, and then living in America, he noticed the American men are not as affectionate because they feel they have to be macho and keep more to themselves in order to show their masculinity.

Watkins told his own story of growing up with a doll. A boy having doll may not be normal in everyday traditional life, but to him and his family, it was just another toy that kept him happy.

Watkins’ “friend” was named boy-boy and is, to this day, still with him. “Little boys need to learn how to love people, too,” Watkins said. “This was just my way of loving.”

He was able to show his own affection by loving his own “person,” he said. Watkins said young and older men should feel comfortable with their feelings and be comfortable with them. “Don’t let peer pressure keep your feelings closed in,” he said.

Guzlowski gave a brief explanation of his life as a primary caregiver for his daughter. Most men today work while the women stay at home, he said. But he cared for his daughter for 10 years and provided her with everything she needed during that time.

He did many of the things that people today would look at as a woman’s job, such as cleaning, cooking, laundry, ballet lessons and singing lullabies at night. He said he tried to explain the world to her as best he could through a man’s eyes.